There is an old prejudice that if you’re single, you should immediately start looking for someone. But should you? Maybe it’s better to enjoy what you have. Singlehood is no longer a stigma you should get rid of as soon as possible. What’s the point in trying to find a partner and build a relationship when you’re not ready for it psychologically? Take advantage of your freedom. Keep reading to learn why and how.
Being single in the 21st century - what's it like?
Is Valentine’s Day is just an ordinary day for you? You’re not alone. These days, single people outnumber married couples. This tendency can be spotted in different countries of the world. While being young and unmarried was considered shameful in the last century, today this stigma has gone (thank God). More young adults consciously decide to stay single and live solo. What is even more striking for the older generation is that many people never get tired of being single. It’s predicted that when today’s adults will be in their 50s, one in four of them will be still a bachelor/bachelorette.
Society views singles as poor things, because a person can allegedly be happy only being a half in a couple. However, one should understand that for some people being single is the best option. Contrary to popular belief, not everyone hates being single. At the same time, not all opt for singlehood very early in life. To be single is the choice often made by the people in their 30s. Before that age, they tend to look for love and believe in happy ever after. 20-somethings and younger folks will definitely say that being single sucks. They are imposed the thought that they are nobodies until they find a soul mate. This thought is deeply ingrained in their consciousness, and it takes them some while to realize that the source of happiness is not always a marriage.
By the way, the institution of marriage is not as important today as it used to be in the past. Contemporary young adults are quite wary when it comes to tying the knot. They prefer to cohabitate before they get hitched. No wonder the age at which people make their relationships official has increased over the last 50 years. For men, it’s 30 and for women – 28.
The matters of marriage and prolonged bachelorhood got into the limelight of sociologists. They are trying to figure out why millennials tend towards singleness. One of the reasons is that the quality of life has improved significantly. Today, when the opportunities are limitless, young people don’t want to waste their best years on unsuccessful marriages. They are focused mainly on living their lives to the fullest. They want to fulfill themselves professionally, they want to travel the world, they want to feel the freedom the contemporary world offers. However, it doesn’t matter that they don’t look for relationships. Many of them have romantic partners. But today, having a romantic partner doesn’t mean there is something serious on a horizon.
The way people interact with the opposite sex has undergone significant changes. Extensive dating opportunities make us think that it’s possible to postpone settling down: it’s easy to find a partner whenever you’re ready for this. Moreover, if most young people think this way, it means you can relax and just enjoy your free single life. When the “I'm tired of being single” time comes, you’ll be able to find a mate.
Although women are said to be obsessed with marriage, contemporary women are debunking this myth. Many of them live solo and are happy with that. They share the millennial values, such as success in education and career and independent living. Tying the knot and becoming a homemaker is not their aim anymore. They can be financially secure on their own, without needing a provider. The 21st century facilitates their aspirations.
Being single is cool and many young singles are totally happy with their status. However, the moments of temporary weakness do happen. Women are more prone to feeling lonely at times. Those mood swings are usually caused by scrolling through their feed and watching their friends’ wedding photos. Although a single woman realizes that she is single because this lifestyle is the most appropriate for her, those beautiful pictures can make her doubt her choice deep down. But then, she reads some post-divorce posts and quickly gets to normal. Funny memes about being single, often created and spread by singles, are very helpful too.
Some say that social media makes people even more isolated and lonely. However, thanks to social media, where people can share their hidden thoughts, people can find like-minded personalities and make sure that they are not alone with their worries and fears. One thing about all memes about singles is that they really appealing and true. You’ve probably come across many of them. Here are some of the most popular:
- “Being an independent woman is cool until about 10 pm.”
- The picture of a bed and the entry: “You’re my favorite hello and hardest goodbye”
- “2015: single. 2016: single. 2017: single. Consistency is the key guys”
- “You’re only like, 8 horribly toxic relationships away from finding your soul mate”
- “My boyfriend is so handsome, looking all invisible and shit”
Every single person will recognize themselves in those memes. It’s okay to dream about a relationship sometimes. The important thing is not to fall into despair but live a meaningful life.
How to be okay with being single?
If being single is not what you want, you should embrace your situation and like it. Yes, you should be happy with that. Here are some reasons for inspiration.
No, not all good people are taken. Sometimes you may buy this crazy idea that there are no worthy partners among the available candidates. If you’re single, then there is another awesome single person looking just for you. Think positive. If you want to attract good people into your life, you should radiate positive vibes. For this, you need to focus on what you already have: good job, close friends, interesting hobby. Channel your desire to care for someone in the direction of your family and friends.
Love yourself. Don’t wait for the person who’ll take care of you, fulfill your dreams and treat you all the time. Be that person yourself. Buy the best things for yourself, praise yourself often, take a good care of yourself. This way, you’ll attract a worthy person.
Don’t compare yourself with others. Your friend is happy in a relationship. But it doesn’t mean you should get yourself a mate too. If you get jealous of your friend’s romance at times, learn to deal with it. Ask yourself whether you want the same just because it works for your friend. Listen to your guts and act how you feel.
Do the things you love. Being single means being able to spend as much time on your hobbies as you want. You can try your hand at new things. You can go on a long trip. Do whatever you like and get the feeling of completeness.
10 Benefits of Being Single
Some call the 21st century the era of singlehood. More and more people realize the value of their life outside the relationships. In many cases, this desire for singleness is temporary. And if loneliness is undesired, it’s temporary too. Sooner or later, you’ll understand whether you want to continue solo, or you want to pair up. Those who are single but don’t want to be ones, should just wait and get the most out of their lives while waiting. The main rule is to stop waiting and start living in the present. Singlehood has many advantages, so enjoy all the perks of being single.
1. Being single is better than being in a bad relationship. It’s a golden rule that should be memorized like a prayer. Some people start a relationship out of fear of being single, even if the partner is not the person they really want to be with. Also, there are many people who stay in an unhealthy relationship for the same reason. You just look at those couples and feel a relief you’re single and trouble-free.
2. More flexibility. People who travel alone have more advantages: from choosing the dates that are convenient for them and getting cheaper tickets to planning their own routes. But traveling is not the only aspect of life in which singles are at advantage. As a single, you can be more devoted to your career. You can work overtime and no one will ask you why you spend so much time at work. Also, your flexibility will let you move to another city or country if you get promoted or find a better job.
3. Understanding your needs better. When you’re in a relationship, you associate your partner’s needs with your own and often lose the sense of self. A single person doesn’t have to adjust to someone’s tastes and interests. They are only getting a better idea of their own discovering something new and experimenting with the old. It’s a very useful ability to know what you like and want.
4. Better physical shape. Although this is a controversial matter, but according to the studies, singles are more active and thus fitter than married people. The explanation is simple: singles want to be attractive to the potential mates, so they watch how they look. Since they have more time for themselves, they have fewer excuses to skip a workout.
5. Your happiness doesn’t depend on one person. It’s a usual thing that a person in relationship views their significant other as the main source of their happiness. If their partner shows less attention to and spends less time with them, they feel lonely and unhappy. This is where being single is awesome simply because, in case of feeling lonely, you can find comfort in your friends and family.
6. More sleeping space. One of the benefits of being single is that you’re the king of your bed. You can sleep in any position, you can go to bed at any time, and the blanket is all yours. Also, you sleep better as no one disturbs you with snoring, sudden moves, and talking.
7. Being in control of your schedule. How to enjoy being single? Just think about infinite freedom of action. Isn’t that enough? You can have your stable routine and create your perfect schedule where there will be time for all important aspects.
8. Stronger ties with friends and relatives. People who lack your attention when you’re in a relationship are your friends and family members. Being single, you can put more effort into your friendships, spend more time with your kin, and enjoy that profound emotional closeness. This is how to be okay with being single.
9. More money. Although two incomes are better than one, the expenses also double. Being in control of your budget is another advantage of single people. You can allocate your income to satisfy your needs and caprices.
10. Endless flirting opportunities. Flirting is about interacting with the opposite sex. Adopt an unbiased attitude and meet new people for the sake of communication. This way you’ll know what you like and dislike in people, and what traits your potential mate should have.
As you can see, singlehood is not something you should be afraid or ashamed of. It provides a lot of opportunities to explore yourself and live your life the way you want.