What's the Difference Between Having and Being a Dominant Partner in a Relationship

Domination is a desire to become the first and the main. It is peculiar, as a rule, to single-minded strong personalities. But, as all things, domination shouldn’t be excessive. There must be a sense of proportion. To dominate every time, everywhere and in everything is impossible. Often, in many life situations, it is much more important to show flexibility, listen to the opinions of others, compromise or accept such line of behavior as avoidance. It's foolish to dictate your rules where you are ignorant.

Dominant partners - who are they?

In any relationship, be it a relationship between a man and a woman, friends or parents, there is one who dominates (dominant) and who submits (submissive).

The relationship is governed by that partner who considers oneself more significant, one that values oneself more and feels higher than one’s partner. The most important thing is that he or she isn't the best, namely he or she considers oneself to be the best. The fact is that a person who considers oneself more important is always ready to break relations off. He or she does it in his or her own interests and can easily build new ones if he or she needs it. Such person is more selfish than their partner.

The submissive partner always puts the relationship above their interests, and their importance will always be lower. And then there is a very important moment, an unconscious grabbing mechanism, "after all, my beloved can leave me and find better." Because of this, a person who can easily break down relationships is always more valuable.

Dominant easily goes to the conflict and always puts one’s decisions above the decisions of the partner. Submissive - on the contrary, more often goes to reconciliation, because he or she always has a fear of loss. So, if a man is willing to make concessions, avoids conflicts and indulges a woman's desires, he automatically gives her the role of the dominant in the relationship. If a man wants to be a leader in the family, he should show his intentions from the first day of their acquaintance.

Another important feature of dominance: the main one will be a person who has more restrained feelings towards the other partner. That is, a dominant partner is the one who loves less or does not love at all. It turns out that a jealous and hysterical person automatically assumes a submissive role. And since women are often more emotional than men, the dominant role in most cases goes to the strong sex.

Psychologists note that the most dependent is a partner who puts in his relationships more emotions, love, care, money, plans, etc. This scheme works only because this partner works on the relationships and begins to appreciate and cherish them. Everything is simple: a person is inclined to cherish those things that are hard to get, and disparage what is given for nothing.

Does there have to be a dominant partner?

Maybe you will be surprised, but yes. In every healthy relationship there must be a dominant person in order to maintain such relationships. This trait has been observed in human’s nature since ancient times.

Domination favors men. Male nature and his ego presuppose the need for domination. An ordinary man by virtue of his nature experiences the taste of happiness from life if he has someone to take care of, whom to protect, a person to be responsible for. Therefore, for a man, the position of an independent and controlling person is natural and organic. Women's nature is the nature of service and submission. She is perfect, it's enough for her to reveal her best qualities, and her life purpose will be realized. But many women don’t like and don’t want to dominate, that's why they are looking for a dominant partner. Nevertheless, dominance, as a person's quality, can’t be removed, it must be perceived as a given. Once a man has 51% of masculine qualities, he will be inclined to dominate. Conversely, having 51% of female qualities, a person will be predisposed to submission and service.

When you are the dominant partner

Many people mistakenly think that a successful relationship with a girl depends on beautiful courtship, love, gifts and other nonsense. It isn’t true. Your relationship will only have the future when you show your dominant role in it. In relations, someone always dominates, and the other follows the leader. If you managed to become dominant over a woman, then you can assume that she is yours.

Even the greatest poet of the XIX century Alexander Pushkin wrote in his novel "Eugene Onegin": "The less we show our love to woman, the easier she is to win, the easier to snare and ruin, in seduction’s net of sin." This is the most popular quote about the love of women. Why did this happen? It best reflects the principles of the relationship between the two sexes. Alexander Pushkin knew the beautiful sex too well and therefore was the greatest heartthrob of his time.

There are some useful tips on how to be a good dominant partner.

1. Be self-confident (high self-esteem)

All your actions, words, gestures should radiate inner confidence, strength and faith in yourself, then the girl will feel that next to you she can relax and be as safe as houses. With a low self-esteem, your relationships with women are dead in the water. How can a girl treat you if you don't set yourself up for anything? That's right, she will step on you. Therefore, first of all increase your self-esteem: go in for sports, improve yourself, study the related literature. You should be self-confident not "thanks to", but "in spite of". This means that you must believe in yourself, despite small failures that could shake this faith.

2. Be self-sufficient

The independence from a relationship is self-sufficiency, which is very important for your dominant position in the relationship. By indulging women's whims less, you will bind her to yourself more.

3. Become a "bad boy"

Note that women like "bad boys", and on the contrary, "good boys" who try to please and be good to everyone at the same time get a disregard for themselves.

Stop to agree with your girl in everything, have your opinion, and don't budge an inch. Don’t excessively please her in everything, the more efforts, emotions and love you give, the more you will depend on this relationship and the less your girlfriend will need it. Be able to say no; indulging will lead to the fact that you will unquestioningly fulfill any whim of your girl. By observing these simple rules, you will greatly improve your relationship with the opposite sex. Remember, the one who is more important will dominate. You should feel yourself psychologically higher than your partner.

Important: you shouldn’t be better, but consider yourself better, appreciate yourself. You shouldn’t be afraid to break the relationship for personal interests; submissive partner will feel it and, on the contrary, put the relationships on the first place. The girl will strive for reconciliation, and won’t be ready for a breakup.

But remember that such methods of domination are unsafe, because any kind of manipulation has its negative consequences. Breaking someone's character, you break their fate. If your partner doesn’t initially want such a relationship, you shouldn’t take responsibility for their life. Otherwise, you may not be ready to carry this burden till the end of your days.

When your partner is dominant

Being a submissive, you ask the dominant partner to give you quite a lot of their time, thoughts and attention. Domination is hard work. Take this into account. And even if you have pressing issues, you still serve the dominant as well as you can.

One of the options to help the dominant is an absolutely honest talk about which type of relationship you are interested in and what problems you’re worry about. If you are a person with little interest in the service or completely without it, you will most likely upset or annoy the dominant. There are submissives whose desire to serve applies only to sex. Others offer a limited set of services, such as help with housework, cleaning in the office, and the third ones - are ready to obey the dominant in any way.

Honesty is important in your conversation about desired and necessary things. Although the dominant can order you to do only what you want, you must always help him or her and offer as many reasonable options as you think. Remember - the more ways to improve the life of your dominant partner you know, the more useful you are as a submissive. It’s one of the best ways how to please your dominant partner. Give a clear understanding of your limits – an offended and frustrated submissive won’t be pleasant for the dominant.

To begin with, don’t be a "button". Don’t come near the dominant to fall at his feet without an invitation. This may discourage many dominants.

The provocation of a dominant can be a really bad idea. Dominance, like surgery or driving an aircraft is an extremely refined skill that takes years to learn. Good dominants accomplish their skills in a carefully controlled, deliberate manner. Intentionally violating their emotional balance is dangerous. Moreover, proceeding from the consciousness of one's own strength and the responsibility that accompanies it, many dominants don’t immediately manifest their anger. But they are also people; if they are wounded, it hurts them. If they are hurt very much, they explode. The frenzied, outraged dominant is terrible. Such people, brought to the loss of control, can feel a strong repentance and shock. And return of their self-confidence can take months, or even years. In such relationships, your main task, as a submissive, is to give away as much control as you think is reasonable. Unethical maintenance of unnecessary control deceives both of you.

But remember, if a lady is willing to make compromises in a daily life and in bed, it only shows her consistency as a wise partner and a skillful lover. Femininity and, in a sense, helplessness are not indicative of stupidity and dependence.