Every man who has ever been on dates knows that the most difficult thing is not to invite a girl to a date, not to choose a place for a date, and this is not even a choice of clothes for a date. The most difficult thing is to start the conversation in a relaxed manner, so that the conversation does not fade after a few trivial phrases. If you think that this can only be done by artful speakers or experienced "smoothies", you are mistaken. The main thing is to have a plan when and what to say. You can compose it yourself using our list of 21 questions, thanks to which the conversation on your date can be interrupted only at the moment of eating an especially delicious food.
7 Tips to Perfect Your First Date
What is characteristic of the first date? Many will say that this is a romance, a lot of new impressions, surprise and anticipation of something pleasant. Others will say that the first date is a change in the direction of your life. Well, to some extent, both are absolutely right. But only if you are completely ready for a date. In most cases, the first date is associated with doubts and constant stress. Why is this happening? Because most men rely on their own strengths too much. They think that everything will happen in life, as in a romantic comedy - a pair of awkward pauses in the dialogue, meaningful smiles, few sparkling jokes that appear in your head by yourself and it is done. The ice melted between you.
But in real life, everything is a bit more complicated. To make the first date perfect, you need to keep a small plan in mind. You need to know a few first date conversation tips to reach your goal. And we will gladly give them to you!
Originality. Each of us thinks that his way of thinking is unique. Well, when we are alone with ourselves, we talk about life through internal dialogue, so it is. But as soon as we leave the comfort zone and find ourselves in a stressful situation, all our originality, wit and erudition evaporates without a trace. We begin to use even low-effective, but proven scripts that are familiar to our minds. So does most people. Almost all men do this on their first date. Believe me, the girl opposite you heard so many discussions about the weather, banal childhood memories and templating questions about what cuisine she prefers, that this will be enough for the "Encyclopedia of Unsuccessful Questions on the First Date." You must act in a completely different scenario.
There is nothing difficult in this if you are prepared. Ask yourself an honest question: what conversation topics for a first date do you consider to be really interesting? What would you really like to talk about, bypassing the streams of banal questions and uninteresting reasoning? The answer to these questions is the way to being original, which means you are worthy of attention from the girl.
Emotionality. The girl came on a date with you not only to learn something new and interesting about you, about yourself or the world around. Conversations for a first date - this is also not her main interest. Your erudition in the context of your first date will be important if you are able to give information not as a robot, but as a living person. What does "live person" mean for girls? A living person is equivalent to an emotional person. Emotions - this is why she is here. And if you are counting on a second date or for a long, serious relationship, you need to demonstrate your emotionality. So you will prove that you are not downer.
Have you ever noticed how some people are able to tell about the financial report for the month as if you are hearing the most interesting and fascinating story in your life? And others tell you about their ascent of Mount Everest as if you are listening to the Boring Lecture on Political Science in the World at the University of Decadent Nerds? So, all the difference is in the emotional color that the narrators attach to their words. Do not be afraid of high intonations, whispering, literary tricks - all this is your weapon, without which you can not win the girl's heart.
Every man whose life experience and age has not reached a certain mark is prone to delusion - the girls absolutely do not care about the speech culture of the potential father of their children. Do you have a lot of money? Do you often go to the gym to build an impressive array of muscles under branded clothes? Do you move by private transport? Congratulations, you've achieved absolute success. Your masculinity has reached perfection. But the next guy, convinced of his superiority, shaking his purse, makes a sharp turn and park near the restaurant, where he has a date. He effectively jumps out of the car and looks in search of a happy contender for the vacant place of his girlfriend. Straining his eyes, he has to strain all the other muscles. This is a mystery of physiology, characteristic of all the jocks. And here their views meet. The heart of the girl is ready to jump out of the chest because she has a date with such a Man. But as soon as they sit down at the table and begin the conversation, the magic ends. It turns out that this magnificent man, lost in the confusion of everyday affairs, forgot to learn to ... speak. He does not know how to keep a conversation going on a first date. He does not even know how to order a dish without saying “f...k”.
A continuous flow of swear words and jargon can destroy any sexuality. Remember this, my friend. It is very important for girls what the culture of speech is possessed by her man. After all, the culture of speech can be judged a lot. And the girls, like brilliant psychologists (even if they themselves do not suspect this), quickly understand what's what. Any tinsel does not withstand the flow of foul language. And you will only go on dates with girls like you.
Talk about both of you. Contrary to popular belief, talking about yourself is a good start for communication on a first date. The main thing in this business is your confidence. Even if you feel the lack of it, just speak in a confident tone. As you get to know each other better, it will be easier for you to talk about yourself and ask her questions. Many men neglect this rule and fall into two extremes. In some cases, the date turns into a method for a therapist, when the patient conducts an endless monologue about his life and his problems. In other cases, the date turns into an interrogation with tricky questions and psychological pressure. Learn to find the golden mean. Ask original questions (see item number 1). If you noticed that the girl is uncomfortable answering your question, quickly change the subject of the conversation. But so that her embarrassment remains supposedly "unnoticed." This requires a certain skill. But who said that you will not need any effort?
Learn to ask the right questions. No tips for first date conversation are needed if you know much about correct asking of questions. What do we mean by correct questions? These are questions that can not be answered simply by "yes" or "no." The secret is that the girl is waiting for your questions with impatience. She should be interested in answering them. To make an approximate list of such questions, you need to prepare a little. Thanks to modern technologies, each of us has a source of important information even about unfamiliar people. You probably already guessed that we mean social networks. Spend half an hour studying her Facebook page and most likely you will know about her hobbies as much as her parents. People often publish information about their favorite books, films, even their views on life. If you do this preparation for good first date conversation, you will not have a lack of interesting questions, which can not be answered unequivocally.
Get ready for a date, like a small exam. Despite all your efforts, the first date is still a very unpredictable thing. In front of you will be not a robot with a set of algorithms, but a living person. Therefore, the course of your conversation can lead you to a standstill, even if you will try your best. For such cases, you should have some funny positive stories in store. And do not let it stop you, that such home preparations are more suitable for public statements by politicians. It is better to tell a corrected, even a fictitious story than to tolerate the girl's unwillingness to continue the conversation. Your main task is to make her smile. As soon as this happens, consider that the date is saved! Just do not go too far with these stories, it's still the first date, not a humorous show. The guys who arrange stand-up performances, most often fall into the friendzone, where they are forever and ever.
Use imagination. So, your date was prolonged. You discussed the military crisis in Syria, the favorite series of the Oprah show and the successes of the national team at the last Olympic Games. You do not know what else to say. More precisely, you know, but these topics are better reserved for the next meetings. In the meantime, you can just have some fun. It's for this that you met. Play a game called "what if?". Ask the girl a question, for example, "What if you are appointed commander-in-chief of the North Korean troops?" The more imaginative these questions are, the more interesting it is. When the girl gives you an answer, let her ask you a similar question. This can be practiced for hours. Even on the first date.
21 First Date Questions to Have a Great Conversation
So, before you start asking the girl questions, smile at her and make a small compliment - such pleasant little things will set a positive tone for your conversation. In addition, it will help the girl to relax and be more open. And than you can go to questions to ask on a first date.
Do not try to be too original. Any conversation, whether it be an interview with a potential employer or a conversation with a sweet girl in the park, should begin with an exchange of "introductory" first date questions. Find out how the girl got to the place of your meeting, whether she is comfortable in the cafe or restaurant that you chose. As soon as the exchange of courtesies is finished, proceed with the use of "heavy weapons":
- Have you had meetings in real life with people you've only met on the Internet? How was it? Good first date questions should be actual. In the era of digital love, this is a very urgent and interesting question.
- Where do you think you'll be in 10 years if everything goes perfectly? This question will help you immediately understand in which direction the girl thinks. First date questions to ask her should be useful to you
- What would you choose - to be twice as smart or twice as beautiful? This is a trick question, so ask it if you see that the girl normally refers to self-irony. Funny first date questions can open her heart (if it is not so, apologize, say that you need to go to the restroom, find the window there, get out through it and run without looking).
- In what situation were you the most nervous? This question will help you to know the nature of the girl. By the way, best first date questions are a bit provocative.
- Do you like to go to rallies, concerts of big stars, in general, where many people are noisy and having fun? The answer to this question will tell a lot about the girl's temperament.
- Is there such a thing without which you can not imagine your life? When you get an answer, tell her about your stuff. Now between you, there is a kind of intimacy.
- It happened to you that you hated each other with someone, and then suddenly you made friends? This happened to everyone, so you can count on the exchange of interesting stories. Remember: great first date questions should lead to stories.
- What do you think you could spend a billion on? Slippery question, but who told that first date questions to ask her should be nice only?
- Would you like to have some kind of superpower?
- What fact about you could surprise your parents? Most likely, she will tell you the most innocuous fact from the multitude. So you'll be able to understand if she really is such an angel as she wants to seem. Detective style first date question, bro.
- Which era would suit you better than modernity? It is said that the sense of inconsistency of the era is part of the symptomatology of some kind of mental disorder. Well, it is much more interesting now!
- If there was a person in the world - an exact copy of you, would you be friends and cooperate or fight and compete?
- Where would you live if you could choose any place on Earth? Girls adore such questions.
- Who knows you better than anyone else? Prepare yourself for a story about her mother or her best friend, but you will give the girl the pleasure of talking to her favorite topic. Finish the phrase: "Probably the best I am in ..."
- What was the last book you really liked? We sincerely hope that your friend reads, bro.
- At what age did you like to live most of all? Philosophy does not lead to an existential crisis only on the first date. So use the moment.
- Lie on the beach or go for excursions in Europe? It is a fundamentally important and interesting question.
- What is the story about you your friends remember from time to time? Do not expect to hear the whole truth, but it will be fun.
- If only one sauce could remain in the world, what would you choose?
- The ideal number of people on a Friday night party? If you are both party people, this question will bring you closer than common children and house.
It is not necessary to act strictly in accordance with the list, remember, this is just an approximate set of questions, some of which you can use to melt the first ice if you have not decided in advance what to talk on the date. After you have already talked a little and feel less tense, you can forget about the questions, and just continue to have a nice conversation because by that time you probably will have an interesting topic for conversation.