Being Single Dad and Dating: How Not to Screw It Up
A single father is not so rare phenomenon today. Nowadays many ladies don’t consider that the upbringing of children is the main goal of their life. Actually, it is much easier for men with children to arrange their personal lives than for women. Representatives of the stronger sex are in demand. Some women even knowingly seek to get acquainted with single fathers, believing that they are more reliable than other men, but some believe that they may have problems dating a single dad. However, such a relationship has its own nuances, which it is better to know in advance.
How to be a good single father
Anything may happen in life and a man has no choice but to be with a child all the time. The first thing to do is not to panic. A child is not a monster. It’s the dearest person in your life, to whom you just need to find an approach. It will take a lot of time, but, believe me, it’s worth it.
1. Understand what you want
The first step to getting what you want is to know what you really need. You have to decide that your work activity should be arranged in such a way that you spend as much time as possible with your children and not spend these precious years on building a career. When you clarify for yourself what you want from work, what exactly you expect from it, only then you will achieve the best results in it. Also, decide for yourself what benefits will work bring you, as well as benefits from other people who will influence your outcome.
2. Put your family in the first place
Minutes turn into hours so fast and these hours turn into useless time spent outside the house. Try to increase your productivity throughout the day. Let time go productively. Quickly return home in the evening. Try to notice how your children grow up and in the future, they will thank you for spending more time with them. Remember that the balance of life is not limited to one thing but includes many more things: making money, playing games, communicating, learning, taking care of your health, dreams, growth and a healthy sleep!
3. Don’t be afraid to ask for help
It doesn’t matter if you work full time or only part-time, if you manage to do household chores, your children look wonderful and don’t need anything, really, you are the best man! Remember that the ability to strike a balance between these matters is a real work. It requires a clear mind, good health, and takes a lot of energy. If you need help, then don’t hesitate to ask for it. Requests for help are a manifestation of common sense. Even saints need help at least occasionally.
4. Be open with your children
It may take a long time to achieve a balance in relations with children. This requires openness in combination with the ability to hide unnecessary things. It is necessary to talk with them in such a way that topics of communication correspond to their age and don’t go beyond limits. Such conversations are necessary in order to teach your child some features of life in modern society and protect against dangerous consequences.
Being a single dad and dating: how does it work?
According to psychologists, a man who became a single father is reviewing a lot in his life. It doesn’t matter what was the original cause that a male parent was left alone with a child, but it is important that he feels isolated from the society, in an unusual role for himself and really as at war. It is much more difficult for a man than for a woman to perceive the fact that there is bright sun outside, people want to have fun and enjoy life, have hobbies, and achieve social goals. And in his life, every holiday will now be strictly dosed. In addition, a woman has a chance to meet a person who, at least, will help financially. A single father doesn’t have such chance and he prefers not to complain, coping with everything on his own. It is difficult in this situation to overcome oneself, live without resentment towards others with the understanding that not only one’s own life but also the life of a child is in his own hands.
Many single fathers, having solved the basic household and material problems and learned how to take care of children, live with resentment on frivolous, stupid, and useless women who don’t want to come and share their shelter with them; don’t want to listen to reproaches; don’t want unnecessary complications. In a word, single fathers have all the same problems in their personal lives as single mothers, but in a much more exaggerated version.
Many have an unfulfilled personal life. The difficulty of communicating with a lonely dad is that he is often too deep in himself, closed, demanding, and extremely vulnerable. He is not ready to patronize a woman, as is customary in traditional families, but rather he himself is waiting for custody and care.
It is not really given to everyone to take this. Just as not everyone will understand that a family where a father became a “father-mother” (albeit temporarily), will never be more traditional at least for the reasons that a daddy is perfectly oriented in the household life of a family and is able to more strictly assess the contribution and efforts of each of its members. I may say banality, but a family should be complete. Being alone with children, men understand the sacral meaning of family relations as well as a relationship between a man and a woman. The meaning of these relations is not in competition for possession of material values or a prize for the best parent. Many women look for tips for dating a single dad on the Internet because they don’t know how to behave. So, you should explain that the meaning of these relations is mutual support. The upbringing of a child is a serious responsibility and considerable workload. Therefore, dating as a single dad, a man should bear his own burden with dignity. And someday a loving woman will be found.
Single dad dating advice
The presence of a child in the life of any man should bring only joy, but shouldn’t be a hindrance to arrange his personal life. So, it turns out that many marriages break up after the birth of a child and a man may remain without support. In this regard, he may feel burdened, incomplete and may have two difficulties: a new relationship and the difficulty in explaining this situation to a child. To avoid this, he must learn some rules of a personal life of a single dad.
1. You must have a personal life
Should a single dad date? Most single fathers have an opinion that they should have a personal life. And this opinion is very pleasing since the first unsuccessful experience of relationships is still not an excuse to refuse further amorous pleasures and devote all your personal life to a child. Those single fathers who do just that, risk becoming lonely after some time as a child grows up and from the age of thirteen, begins to spend a lot of time with friends, goes on dates, visits nightclubs, while his or her father feels unnecessary.
2. Give more attention to yourself
This is the main rule of a personal life of a single father who can’t forget his bad experience. A breakup or death of a wife can cause a strong depression in a man, because of which he will cease to pay attention to himself. This can become a habit because over time, his attention will shift to a child and there will not be time for himself. To start a new relationship, a man needs to be handsome and well-groomed. This is one of the most important single dad dating advice. So, don’t forget about yourself.
3. Tell the truth about a child
The main reason for worries of a single father is that he will remain alone because of the presence of a child, as many men consider that a woman rarely chooses a single father or a divorced man. In fact, this is a misconception: a serious woman and her feelings will not be hampered by the presence of a man’s child. But this can be a burden for sly women or those who love men only for money. So don’t be afraid, tell a woman the truth about a child. This is a great way to test her feminine essence!
4. Tell your child that you have a woman
Being a single dad and dating, you should be in a trusting relationship with your child. In order not to injure the child’s psyche, you can’t hide from him or her the intention to get acquainted with a good woman. A child should be prepared in advance for the fact that this can happen to his/her father. Then it will be easier for a child to accept it. For this, a man needs to establish a trusting relationship with his child. When a child becomes older, you need to try to explain to him/her that acquaintance of a father with a woman is only for his/her benefit and this woman will share care about him/her that over time and will try to become a good stepmother.
5. Don’t rush to introduce a woman to a child
This rule says that it is necessary to introduce a child to a new woman only when a man realizes that their relationship becomes serious. Thus, a single father can save his child from unnecessary psychological trauma. Before a meeting, you should talk with a child and, of course, a woman herself must overcome her emotions and be ready to get acquainted with a child of her loved man.
Dating profile examples for single dads
The idea that dating sites can help in finding a future wife inspires men and gives them hope. But, first of all, a single dad should look for dating profile examples in order to know how to do everything right. Of course, men who have children are concerned not only about finding a spouse for themselves, but also a good mother for children. For this reason, it is important to carefully study profiles of women. It should be indicated that a person is ready or even wants to find a man with a child. If there is no such information on a page, it is worthwhile to clarify this moment during chatting. Of course, this question shouldn’t be asked in the first or second letter.
Never hide from a potential wife the presence of children. It should be remembered that not everyone is able to take responsibility for someone else’s baby. And this should be treated with respect. Of course, you need to think about the future of your son or daughter. So, for starters, it is worth studying the main characteristics of the character of a woman. The most important moment comes when a single dad finds a good dating site, a profile is filled, and he has several messages. At this stage, it is important to tell a woman about a child. Of course, it is not necessary to praise your child throughout the whole correspondence and talk about all his/her successes and achievements. In this case, a woman may feel unnecessary.
Moreover, some women will think that they are needed only to ensure decent living conditions for a child. But everyone wants to be loved. A woman, who is looking for her soul mate on a dating site, dreams of becoming the main person in the life of a man. Of course, this is not an excuse not to mention a child in your communication. The main thing is to do everything in time.