Being in love is a joker in the game that your emotions play with your head. While this joker is in the game, your head has no chances to end the game even in a draw. The feelings that you experience are stronger, brighter and have an unconditional priority over any others except, perhaps, the fear of immediate death. Men need just one day to fall in love, besides, a quarter of men fall in love at first sight, and 29% of men fall in love after the first date. According to experts, the reason why men and women perceive relationships in different ways is in their heads. The fact is that their senses are activated by different parts of the brain.
Earlier, the scientists have found that a man needs eight seconds to fall in love, and they will not look at the potential partner whom they don’t like for more than four seconds. A sexual interest and the desire to continue acquaintance appears within eight seconds. The scholars also argue that the strongest feelings, for example, true love, can be experienced only once in a lifetime, and all subsequent ones are simply sexual attraction or just affection.
"I am falling in love too fast" – familiar to you?
Love is a wonderful feeling that everyone dreams to find. However, what if you fall in love too fast? How not to lose your head and keep it cool?
First of all, honestly answer the questions, “Can you fall in love too fast? Does love make you better?” Maybe, it just takes all your energy and gives nothing in return. We are all very different. So, one man, having fallen in love with an actress or a singer, can immediately adopt new hobbies, he can start learning a foreign language in order to understand the texts of the songs better, or start running in the morning like the star. And when love goes away, his knowledge of the language and a good physical shape remains with him. Another man can neither talk nor think about anyone else, and he has eternal problems because of falling in love too fast. So, what do you usually do if something like that happens to you?
Love as the engine of progress
If love inspires you, it is great. Use this energy to move mountains on your way. Write music, poetry, draw pictures, learn languages, dance or do sports. Do everything that will fill your life with interesting things. And even if one love replaces another one, you will change for the better with every new hobby. And at the same time, you will find such hobbies that will be yours forever.
However, unlike true love, such a feeling as being in love, as a rule, does not bring satisfaction to a person but only suffering. Sometimes, being in love works only in one direction when you have fallen in love with someone, but they do not love you back. It may also be so that your feeling is short-lived, and you ask yourself once again, “Did I fall in love too fast?” It ends just with disappointment and suffering again.
The same features, the same result
Often, men fall in love with women who have the same virtues and shortcomings. In this case, it’s about a strong psychological connection of these men to the same patterns of behavior.
It is very important to understand with whom you fall in love, and why it happens. All women, to whom you begin to feel attraction, have the same set of qualities. In addition, they have the same set of qualities that can make you suffer. The problem is that there are men whose choice is the suffering, although they do not understand it because everything happens at the subconscious level. So, tell yourself, “I fall in love too fast,” find out the reasons and deal with them.
Reasons why you fall in love too fast
Do you think that tendency to fall in love too fast is a personality trait or an individual feature? In fact, it is not. If a person asks themselves the question, " When is too soon to fall in love?", then they feel an acute need for love, attention, and care. In search of love, they are in a constant tone, they idealize their chosen one and fall in love with them. One relationship is replaced by other ones, but they still are very lonely.
The psyche of such people is emotionally unstable and vulnerable. It is very easy to offend or hurt them. They need to fall in love all the time. The inability to stay single and the fear of loneliness are clear indicators of the fact that their need for love is high. Where does the obsessive desire to fall in love and get the attention come from?
- Old grudges. It is one of the most common reasons that make people see their soulmate in every person. It is possible that you have had the first unfortunate love, or somebody has offended you with leaving or cheating on you. So, it turns out that you are trying to conquer the heart of the first stranger, by hook or by crook, in order to prove to yourself and others that you are worthy of happiness and have the right to true love.
- Escape from reality. People who don’t care whether it is too soon to fall in love or not are big dreamers. Best of all, they feel in a world of their own fantasies. Often, these are very insecure people. They are sure that real life is too severe and cruel, and it makes them feel anxiety so much that they prefer to live in a world of illusions. And in the relationships with other people, they tend to see not the real person but the image that they have drawn in their imagination. Nonetheless, as soon as it becomes obvious that the object of their love does not correspond to the ideal, they leave them and begin to search for a new one.
- Idealization. Can you fall in love too fast? In the case of a positive answer, probably the whole point is that you idealize women. When you get acquainted with a nice, friendly young woman, you start immediately thinking that she is certainly an interesting and passionate lover who will become an ideal wife. However, this will not work, and you will be only disappointed each time in a person getting to know them better. Being constantly in love with different people means that you idealize them from the first moment and that such love will bring you suffering and nothing more.
- Protection from disappointments. You will hardly get the correct answer to, “How soon is too soon to fall in love?” However, you should know that people who seek for love adventures (often unconsciously) need strong feelings, passion, and they want to be at the peak of their love experiences all the time. The need for that is so strong that a person cannot stop. In fact, a constant state of being in love that does not grow into a deeper feeling over time is one of the protective mechanisms of the psyche. It's unconsciously used by those who are desperately afraid of serious, long-term relationships. Such people are frightened by the possibility of becoming dependent on a loved one, getting attached to them and experiencing a strong pain of a breakup if the relationship ends.
- Strong self-persuasion. Besides idealization when it seems that you have fallen in love with an interesting girl who has a wonderful body or a charming voice, you consider her to be the standard of femininity. You keep telling yourself that she has a huge list of different advantages, and a woman, on her part, doesn’t try to change your mind. This behavior is quite natural because every girl wants to look better in the eyes of others than she really is, and you begin to convince her that she is almost a princess.
In fact, such a relationship is doomed to failure. Think about your previous relationships, the shortcomings of your partners, their behavior and the main reasons of the breakups. Most likely, you will come to the conclusion that in all cases, your relationships developed according to the same scenario. One day, you began to realize that your princess turned out to be a lazy, petty, or even a married lady. It can only mean that you are a magnet for such type of women.
How not to fall in love too fast
Naturally, now, you will begin to resent and say that it's not your fault. Of course, no one argues that in the modern world, women think only of themselves, and they use men for personal gain. However, let's listen to the opinion of psychologists, who are sure that you should always look for the main reason, first of all, in yourself.
So, forget about your self-confidence for a while and look at the situation from the side, that is, try to find the cause in yourself. After all, if you think logically and abstractly, it’s not women’s fault that you fall in love too fast and look for the future wife in each of them:
Understand the root cause. The reason for your need to be in love arose many years ago, back in childhood. Try to understand what grievances or disappointments you are trying to make up now, constantly falling in love. Ask yourself, "What am I looking for in love?", "What do I expect from a partner and what do I want to get in return?” Is a month too soon to fall in love? Everything depends on the basis of individual circumstances.
Recognize the reality of the person. To love means to recognize the right of a partner to an identity because a real person always differs from the image that you have drawn in your imagination. Only by accepting your loved one as they are, you can get out of the vicious circle of emotional dependence and create a harmonious relationship.
Find a new source of strong emotions. How to not fall in love too fast? Lack of strong emotions often becomes the cause of frustration, including anxiety, disappointment, despair. Try to find the source of bright experiences in something different, for example, take up active sports, art or just travel more often.
Leave your past in the past. Unwillingness to forget your childhood and to look into your future can be the main reason for the inability to live in the present. Often, those who suffer from the real or symbolic absence of the father in their lives, face this challenge. It is the father who "wedges" in the relationship between the mother and the child, forcing the latter to break out of the relationship with the mother and to open up to the world. It is the father who indirectly helps the child fit into the present and orient in the future. If it does not happen, the child will remain symbolically "glued" to the mother and will not accept the reality.
Find shortcomings. So, regardless of other reasons, there is only one way to get rid of being in love too fast, you need to look critically at a woman. You fall in love only because you see only her advantages, forgetting about any shortcomings. Next time, try to pay attention to them in order not to look for the answer to, “Is it too soon to fall in love?”
Just try to be happy
You are surrounded by many girls who are worthier of your love and are ready to love you back without causing any suffering. If you get used to being in love, then you will not be able to stay single, but it will be better if you focus on the right girls. However, you should try to become happy. So, look at their shortcomings, appreciate their virtues and be prudent.