Dating after divorce: do’s and don’ts

It’s been a while since you divorced and now you feel you’ve moved on and are ready for new experiences. Dating after divorce may seem tricky and scary. Here is a list of post-divorce dating do’s and don’ts that will help you start off on the right foot.

Do’s

Analyze your last relationship. Divorcees often find themselves scared of finding a new partner and getting burnt again. They are afraid of making the same mistakes that eventually result in a breakup. That is why the first thing you should do before getting back in the game is to draw the conclusions from your experience of a failed relationship. When you make the things clear for yourself, you’ll devise the right strategy of building your next relationships.

Make up a list of the qualities your potential date should have. Now that you know what kind of relationship you are looking for, it’s time to focus on the personality of your potential partner. Think about the positive qualities of your ex which you would like to find in your new partner. At the same time, determine the negative sides of your ex’s character which you didn’t like and look for a woman with the opposite qualities.

Discuss neutral topics during a date. If you finally asked a woman on a date, get ready for it. First of all, take a positive attitude. View your first post-divorce date as an opportunity to come out of your shell and get social again. Try to keep a casual atmosphere that will allow both of you to get to know each other better. Do talk about your interests, hobbies, recent travel experiences, etc.

Be honest. It’s one of the basic dating rules. When people meet new people, they usually want to seem even better than they really are. However, it’s all in vain because sooner or later their true nature reveals itself and it turns out that they were just wasting their and their date’s precious time. Therefore, you should be honest with your date from the start and make your expectations clear. For example, if you didn’t think about dating a single mother, you should be frank about it in order not to waste that woman’s and your time.

Get support from your friends. Usually, men are not very enthusiastic about discussing some love- and relationship-related topics. However, your family and friends can help you get back to the dating pool. Let them know that you’re starting a new life. By the way, they could set you up on a date with a nice woman.

Be open-minded about dating. You should understand that the dating culture has changed significantly since your last date. Many people meet and date via online dating sites which are extremely popular now. Consider joining one of them and practice meeting new women a bit.

Don’ts

Don’t discuss your ex. The first date is not the right time to talk about your ex. When you venture to make the first step towards a new relationship, you should focus on your future, not on the past. That is why try not to mention your past relationship during your first date. If a woman asks about your personal life, let her know that you are divorced but don’t give a short account of that relationship. Remember that you should bring up general, neutral topics, so change the subject.

Don’t rush things. If you’re looking for a serious relationship, not a one-night stand, then don’t end your first date in bed. You should get to know a person better before you get emotionally tied to her. You need to take your time and enjoy your re-entering the dating scene.

Don’t introduce your dates to your children. If you are a single father, you shouldn’t invite your dates to your home and introduce them to your children. It can be pretty stressful for them to see new women with you. That is why let your partner meet your kids only if you have a serious long-term relationship.