When It’s Time to Start Dating Again after Divorce
There isn’t a universally perfect time for getting back in the game after a bitter breakup or divorce. Of course, you need some time to recover from it, get used to your single status, and move on. Those newly divorced who still feel hurt, betrayed, and pessimistic but throw themselves into a new relationship shortly after divorce make a huge mistake. Usually, a year is enough to heal the wounds of a previous relationship, analyze what you and your partner did wrong, make conclusions, and start a new life. Use this time wisely: re-evaluate your life, set new priorities, improve yourself, and decide what kind of partner you need this time. The main thing is that you shouldn’t stay single for too long, otherwise you’ll aggravate your situation. Here are the possible consequences of your waiting for too long.
Getting used to being alone.
When you stay single for years, you get comfortable with it. You enjoy your freedom and independence; you can do what you want and when you want it without adjusting your schedule to somebody else’s plans. That’s the major problem of the experienced singles who start dating and building new relationships after a long pause.
Getting out of the dating scene.
Dating is a skill and if you don’t practice it for a while, it gradually becomes less developed. Moreover, your attitude to dating changes and in the long run you can find yourself being scared of the perspective of meeting new people, possible partners.
Realizing you can do everything on your own.
Living alone you learn to deal with everything without any assistance. Sometimes you think that it would be nice to have somebody by your side but then you understand that you’ll cope with all the issues on your own.
Thinking you don’t have time for somebody new in your life.
You have your schedule and your routine and you are totally comfortable with that. Your days are busy with working, spending time with your kids (if any), and doing something at leisure. It’s hard to imagine that something such as dating can be included in your schedule.
So, you see that staying single for too long after divorce can make dating harder. That is why once you realize you’ve recovered from grievance, let new people into your life. How to know you are totally ready to get back in the game?
You believe in yourself. Usually, divorce undermines your self-esteem and you need some time to believe in yourself again. Lack of confidence will hamper your dating experiences, so you need to feel that you’re not afraid of anything and tune yourself to success.
You got your ex off your mind. Shortly after your divorce you couldn’t but think about your ex. And you were full of anger and reproaches. Now, you are thankful for that time spent together and for that valuable experience you got. Once you don’t get too emotional thinking about your ex, you can be sure you’ve moved on.
You are not after a rebound. Make sure that you want to start dating again not just because you’re lonely or because you want to distract from your post-divorce depression. If you seek a rebound, you are not ready for a new relationship.
You think more about your future than your past. If you notice that you’ve got more future-oriented and left the past in the past, congratulations: you are ready to date again.
You know what you want. You have analyzed your and your partner’s faults that led to the sad outcome and you know what you should avoid in future. Also, you have a clear idea of your potential date and partner, particularly of the qualities they must or mustn’t have, their personality, and appearance.