Human relationships are very complicated, and they are not going to simplify any time soon. There is only one step from friendship to love and from love to hate. By and large, friendship resembles love but without the sexual aspect. Furthermore, according to various studies, those couples that can say that they have a strong element of friendship in their relationships usually have stronger emotional ties, and their relationships last longer. And those couples that rely only on the sexual aspect of dating usually have more problems in relationships. The study showed that couples who have the priority of satisfying their sexual needs, after several years of marriage, are less satisfied with their sex than those who claim to value friendship above all. Most likely this happens because lovers-friends can always frankly talk about any topics.
According to all the above mentioned for the relationship to last long, partners must not only want each other but also should be good friends. So, is dating your best friend, actually a good idea? Before you decide to stop hunting for lonely women seeking men, you should know that if you decide to try to turn your friendship into romantic relationships, you are risking to lose it all. Okay, when we have warned you from the very beginning about the worst possible consequence of your actions, the time has come for us to dive into this topic.
Why Sometimes People Are Dating Their Best Friends
Well, for some people, it is logical to build a relationship and get married to their best friends. Why look for someone else if you and your friend already have all the most important features of a good relationship (mutual attraction, intimacy, openness, respect, support, and pleasure from time spent together)? At first glance, this seems just perfect because you have already made the bigger part of the job, you already know everything about each other. Who, if not you, can know more about your friend?
No matter what people say, but it is very hard to maintain the friendship between men and women. You see, sooner or later, one of the friends will get colder or will fall in love with another person. The most important precondition for loving your best friend is to be sexually interested in him or her. Without sexual interest, you will be completely satisfied with your best friend the way he or she is. So, if you don’t get aroused when you think about your best, then chances are that you may turn your friendship into romantic relationships.
Unfortunately, there is another side to this, and you should know about it. If you are dreaming about having romantic relationships with your friend, you may get into a friendzone. This happens when one friend is falling unrequitedly in love with another. In this case, you both will suffer emotionally, and your relations will get colder with time.
Advantages of Dating Your Best Friend
Even though it is a way easier to meet a girl now than to turn your friendship into romantic relationships, but many people still find themselves in a situation when they ask themselves, “Am I in love with my best friend?” If you are one of those people and now you are thinking, “Should I date my best friend?” then you should know the main advantages of dating your best friend. Here are the main pros and cons of dating your best friend.
1. You already have a foundation
If you are dreaming about dating your best friend, then the biggest pros are that you don’t need to learn anything about each other, because you already know him or her well. You already have an idea of what he or she likes, and is passionate about, you have an idea about your friend’s goals, beliefs, and ideas. Perhaps, you may even know his or her family, and they know yours. Of course, this is way easier to date someone whom you already know, instead of taking a risk by searching for someone new.
2. You know about each other’s romantic affairs
Another great advantage of turning friendship into the relationship is that you already know each other’s past. This will help you be closer not only as friends but also as a couple. Because you both know every single part of what you both have been through. In other cases, you can also have a deeper understanding of each other’s ideas, goals, and beliefs. This is very important if you want your romantic relations to last long. Besides, you know that you will always support each other.
3. You already trust and respect each other
What can be more important in a relationship than trust and respect? Since you are best friends, it already means that you trust and respect each other. These are basic elements of a successful and long-lasting relationship, and it is way easier to trust your friend who has turned into your romantic interest than create trust and gain respect from scratch. In the end, if you don’t trust your partner, you won’t be happy in your relationship. With your best friend, you already have a big advantage here since you won’t have to worry about their interests and preferences.
4. You understand each other
When two people often spend a lot of time together, they begin to understand each other even without saying anything. Your friend immediately understands if something is wrong, and he or she will never fret you with questions. Of course, this comes in handy when you are thinking about turning your best friend into your best lover. This effect is especially strong when you turn your childhood friends to lovers. Who, if not they, can know almost everything about you? And again, learning to understand some stranger like that will take a lot of time, and may never pay off.
5. You know each other’s families
Another major challenge that people face is that they need to introduce their lovers to their parents. Often this is very awkward and worrying. But this is not a problem if you date your friend, especially a good friend from your childhood since he or she already knows your parents, and they know that they are good people. Plus, you already know that his or her mother cooks perfectly and also likes singing. Beyond doubt, your parents already like your best friend and your choice will come as no surprise.
Major Disadvantages of Dating Your Best Friend
Unfortunately, relationships with best friends also have huge disadvantages. Even though at first glance, everything seems just perfect, but in practice, things get complicated. Those complications can easily ruin not only your friendship but also your relationship with this person. So, to know for sure whether you want to date your best or not, you should know about the major disadvantages of dating him or her.
1. You may lose your best friend
When things don’t work out with a random stranger, whom you met somewhere on Tinder, you won’t lose anything since you have never met before your relationship, and this person doesn’t play any major role in your life apart from being the reason for the failed love affair. As you are aware, this is not the case when you date your best friend. Needless to say, that there are cases when people manage to save their friendship after the failed attempt to have a romantic relationship, but no one knows for sure what will happen in your case. Thus, be ready to deal with this pressure caused by the fear of losing both a best friend and a lover.
2. You don’t have the fresh start
People sometimes make stupid mistakes and do something that they shouldn’t, if so, then they try to forget about this as soon as possible. Your friend may not even remember some terrible or unpleasantly awkward situations, and definitely won’t remind you of it. But you, in your mind, will always be asking yourself, “What if they still remember?” Thus, sometimes, you will feel discomfort, and won’t be able to look them in the eyes. This never happens when you start from scratch because, in this case, all your mistakes are wiped away. Plus, when you date your best friend, you already know his or her bad habits, and imperfections.
3. Your friend is not your shoulder to cry on anymore
If before your romantic relationship, your friend served as a shoulder to cry on from time to time and was the voice of reason when you were crying to him or her, now, this status is over. When you started your romantic relationship with your best friend, he or she has become an interested party in your arguments, so they can’t advise you anything anymore. Plus, you should agree that complaining to your lover how bad your lover is not something adequate. So, be ready to search for another shoulder to cry on, and you should find it very fast because you will have the first arguments pretty soon.
4. The breakup becomes way worse
The more you are attached to a person, the harder it is to break up with him or her. When you date a person whom you meet on Tinder or somewhere online, you can break up with them without any serious consequences, but when you begin to date your friend, then everything is different, and let me explain why. First of all, before you decided to date, you have been spending time in a company of friends, and in one way or another, your friends get involved in your relationship. Thus, your breakup will have consciences for them too since your company of friends many never be the same again.
5. Your friends and family will be curious
When you start dating your best friend, there will be no hiding from your other friends and relatives. You will have to introduce them with your new partner and not as a friend, but as a lover and romantic partner. Add here all your friends who have got used to the fact that you are just close friends, realizing that you are more than that will take a lot of time for them. During this, it is important to make sure that everyone feels comfortable, or you may destroy your friendship or lose your partner.
What Makes a Friendship Grow into Relationships?
A friendship may grow into relationships for any reason. People have been doubting the possibility of friendship between men and women a long time ago and not without a good reason. No matter how strong your friendship is, sooner or later, it will become warmer or will get colder. In the first case, you may fall in love, and your friendship will turn into a romantic relationship or will become a friend zone. In the second case, you and your friend will find someone on the side and won’t be able to spend as much time with each other as you can now.
According to the statistics, very often, one friend in friendship has feelings towards another one, but he or she hides those feelings because they are afraid of rejection. This happens, since frequently the line between friendship and relationship is blurred. The reason for this is that close friendship often resembles a standard romantic relationship since people take care of each other and are very happy together. Such an intimate atmosphere may one day lead to love because the only aspect that differs the love from friendship is sex. Friends don’t have sex.
What about friends with benefits?
This is a very interesting aspect of any friendship since you both not only have emotional connections but also have physical contact. Does it mean that you are in love? Nope, it doesn't. Romantic relationships require not only emotional ties and physical contact, but also the romantic aspect of relationships itself. Note, if you are already friends with benefits, then switching to romantic relationships will be very hard. Because, in the beginning, your old habit won’t allow you to feel like in real relationships since only a few aspects will change. Thus, you may get inside a trap when you believe that you are dating him or her, but in real life, you are just friends with benefits.
Dating Your Best Friend: Main Tips
Okay, you are certain that you want to date your best friend, but how to avoid mistakes and establish a happy relationship with him or her? This is a very noble and brave beginning, but there will be always a risk that everything will turn into a disaster. However, some rules can reduce this risk. We are going to give you some useful tips on dating your best friend.
If you still ask yourself, "Does my best friend like me?" then you should know that you should never rush things when you want to date your friend. Take your time to know for sure if your friend loves you too. In any case, you should be very gentle with your friend, give them the required space and time to make the right decision.
Always be honest
Building your relationships on lies is the worst thing that you can do. How can you relax with someone if you know that he or she is not honest with you? Plus, honesty helps you deal with problems that may arise between you and your partner.
Listen to yourself
No matter what your friends, relatives, and parents may tell you when it comes to your relationship, you should only listen to yourself. Think about what is better for you. If you really want to date your friend, and you feel that he or she wants it too, then nothing should stop you from doing this.
Remember about the past
If you already have story, then there is no reason to pretend that you start from scratch. On the contrary, you should use your experience to your advantage. You have already faced some problems together, and know what may offend or hurt your partner, this means that it is easier for both of you to avoid those problems in the future.
Don’t get overwhelmed with the expectations
For example, you should never forget about the fact that your shift from friendship to romantic relationships may not be as good as you expect it to be. In this case, you won’t be satisfied with your relationships, even if everything will be pretty good. To avoid this, you should never have any expectations at all. Remember, the less your expectations are, the more excited you will be.
So, should you date your best friend? Of course, but only if you really love him or her, and if you feel that there is a physical attraction between you. Don’ let anything prevent you from being happy. If you feel that you are falling in love with your friend, then you should be very gentle and give him or her time to understand how they feel about the relationship with you.
As you can see, in many ways, it is easier to date your best friend than dating someone else. Besides, all those problems that you may face can only take place if your relationships are over. So, if you put enough effort into your relationships, you will be able to avoid facing the majority of those problems. To achieve this, you should be honest with everyone who is somehow related and connected with your relationships.