Hugging a girl you like for the first time is always a big deal – if you are an introvert or extravert, a shy fella or a macho man, a teenager, or a senior gentleman. There's always a great deal of excitement and a rush of hormones in your bloodstream, that is amplified by an unhealthy dose of awkwardness to this process.
How to hug a girl and feel good about the process and yourself after it – here comes your complete guide to the art of embraces.
A Friendly Hug Vs A Romantic Hug
First things first: there are friendly hugs and romantic ones. Most importantly, the same hug may be perceived by 2 parties differently. You may think it's romantic, she may see it as a friendly one.
This is the territory of the biggest confusion and the reason for all the awkward situations involving hugging. Beware. Good, you get to read this first.
How Exactly Do You Know If It’s A Romantic Hug Or A Friendly One?
These will come handy for a novice hugger & serve as a refresher for an old hand.
1. Consensual hugging only.
If you enjoy your freedom at all, make sure that every physical contact with the opposite gender is consensual. There are billions of women in the world, so rest assured there are some who will gladly embrace you romantically.
2. Start Friendly.
If you want to be on the safe side – start with a friendly hug. There is nothing like the awkwardness of the romantically intended hug converted into a friendly one in the process.
3. Only go romantic if you have had enough clues.
If you have been friends for a while and things are evolving for both of you. If you pick up explicit romantic clues from her, you may start with a one-arm embrace with a prolonged stare in her eyes. This can always be reduced into nothing if you overestimated the rapport between you.
4. Do your due diligence. See where she is at personal life-wise.
Facebook, Instagram, Twitter. Lots of intelligence sources. You have every opportunity to find out if she is romantically engaged or not.
Strike a conversation about her views on family or romance if you have to. You don't have to ask her about how many kids she wants or anything. Talking about abstract situations with your family and friends will lead her to spill the beans about her views on personal life.
Get a feel before you go all in. Timing is important in romance. You don't want to ignite a relationship too early when she is not ready.
Giving A Girl A Friendly Hug
A friendly hug is a great starting point for any shy fella out there. Specifically, the one with little practice in matters of romance.
If you are not well versed with things physical, you may start with smaller gestures, that suggest physical contact:
- Help her carry a bag.
- Open a door for her.
- Hold her elbow when she is going by the stairs in her high heels.
- Offer her a hand when she exits a car or an escalator in the mall.
- Help her get her coat off and offer help in putting it on.
Not only those occasions are great to get closer to a girl, but they also show you in a better light: you behave like a gentleman, which all ladies tend to like, however, emancipated. If you want to give a good hug but still keep it friendly, below are the good strategies on when to hug a girl:
Make sure the timing is right:
- upon meeting [you can also give her a triple kiss, making a joke about watching a French movie and feeling you were French in your past life],
- when saying bye,
- if there is a reason to console or sympathize with her situation, [say, she gets emotional, remembering her deceased pet].
No overkills. A friendly hug it is Keep it real light and friendly. No intense staring or too close of a distance. Keep it casual. Keep it cool. Even if you go from a friendly to romantic one day, this is how you create butterflies in your tummy.
Show your intent to hug
Even a friendly hug suggests a certain degree of acquaintance. So when the time comes [say, you are about to say goodbye], stand up, get your stuff together, showing the readiness to move on. Then stretch your arms when you are still a meter away. In 2 steps you will shorten the distance enough to embrace her, but she knows your intentions and can reciprocate by stretching her arms out.
Giving A Girl A Romantic Hug
How to hug a girl for the first time is the most topical question, because all the awkwardness goes away with the second, third time. So let’s start with this burning issue before we proceed to other cases.
How To Hug A Girl For The First Time
Choose The Right Moment
It's all at the moment. Ideally, there would have been enough building up for both of you and enough friendly hugs, so that both of you feel comfortable with each other and feel like this is coming.
If you have a day at the beach and are sitting next to each other, it's OK to stretch an arm and put it around her.
If you have a first date at a cinema or even watched a movie at home, it's OK to stretch an arm and steal some popcorn from her from behind her shoulder, only to leave your arm around her during one of the consecutive sneaky operations.
If you have a proper dinner and go for a walk along the river and sit on a bench, it’s a perfect time to put your arm around her and gauge her reaction.
You have to be alone together. You have to have had some shared experience before that or spend a few hours together. You have to know that she wouldn’t mind [or you’d better ask for consent, however unromantic]. If you want to hug a lady romantically, you have to get the timing perfect or risk the wrong impression to linger with you for some time.
Progress to your physical contact gradually
While we are trying to vivisect the art of embrace into atoms, so after all the theory you feel comfortable practicing it, we still believe in things that come naturally.
You truly want to know she is ready and is looking forward to more physical contact when you advance. If you are both inexperienced teenagers, then it’s up to a guy to make the first advancement. Creating a situation where you 2 are sitting together for some time is a good start. It gives the opportunity to naturally stretch your arms and still have the way to get out of there with grace if she is not willing to accept your advances.
If you are both adults with past relationships, things get easier in terms of experience from both sides. It's only about creating a memorable romantic moment, that will lay a healthy foundation for the future. Take your time to build up that butterfly effect. As this is something that wears off quickly with time. But having this feeling is also very emotional for both parties, so savor it before you rush into action.
Be ready for any scenario
If she accepts your courtship or not – try and be ready for any outcome of your advances.
Be ready with a joke or sincere apology in case she doesn't feel comfortable with your embrace. If she is relatively cool about it, a respectful joke will be fine. If a lady seems to be concerned about the situation, apologize and mention that you didn't mean it to be romantic and you are sorry for the intrusion of her private space.
If you got all the clues right and she is ready to move to another stage of your relationship and gladly accepts your physical contact, you might as well brush up your kissing skills too before the evening.
Well done & Hurray! Romance is in the air and you might want to keep a few romantic moves up your sleeve to keep her interested & intrigued.
How To Hug A Girl: 7 Tips For Rookies & Seasoned Embracers
No hugging with the strangers
Well, making sure you know her well enough before you make any romantic moves is a good idea in any scenario. A hug from a stranger is creepy under every single circumstance. When you have laughed at enough jokes and shared enough pizzas, it’s OK to start thinking about some physical contact.
With all the emancipation, ladies love a confident guy. In fact, girls love bad guys and they are always confident. If you know you have what it takes to conquer a girl in question. If you know you have lots of fun time to offer her. If you feel like the relationship could be a satisfying and rewarding experience for both of you. What do you have to lose? Release your inner macho and act as if you have done it a hundred times.
Visualize To Reduce Stress
Creative visualization is a trick used by sportsmen and doctors, musicians, and actors. In a nutshell, this technique helps build neuron connections in your brain, so when the time comes, you are well prepared and the stress levels are reduced essentially.
This is easy to do. Just imagine your date or your first hug in detail in your mind's eye. Try and bring it up in the smallest detail in your imagination. This way, you will have caused your brain to experience emotions to some extent. Even if it sounds like some Law of Attraction practice, creative visualization is proven to have physical results to it, so don't be shy to engage in this technique.
Observe Body Language
It’s all in the body language. A girl, who is open to a relationship, can be a bit shy or blush from times to times. She can have timid attacks or be lost for words and look up at you cheekily. If she is playful and encouraging and does not close her posture, if she touches her hair and puts her lips – she is highly likely to be so interested.
If a girl is distant, aloof, keeps her arms closed, pushes away whenever you get closer, it may be a good time to move on. At least don't think about hugging her just yet.
Be A Gentleman Your Mom Wanted You To Grow Into
Chivalry is so not dead. Being a gentleman is a good thing. Whether a hipster of a nerd, a sportsman, or a technology geek, a lady sees a Prince Charming. Be one. If you expect her to be your Princess. Be courteous all the way – if you catch enough moments to open a chair for her or grab her purse or hold an umbrella above her head – you will have had plenty of physical contact by the time you get to your first hug.
Act When Time Is Right
Properly hug your girl when the time comes. No hesitations or second thoughts. If the time is right, you will know it. It’s only when the time is not right, you are in doubt. You don’t want to take too long with physical contact either. Or get to a stage when you get a hug from a girl, who cannot wait for you to make the move.
If you have seen each other on a couple of occasions publicly and have had a date or two in private, the time for physical contact has come. Take charge and get close so you can give her a hug or two.
Be A Man Of Her Dreams
There are 100 ways to hug your girlfriend. You can hug her tenderly, or somewhat possessively. You can hug her with one arm or both hands. Some love hugging a girlfriend from behind and land a kiss on her neck. Some prefer to always see her eyes and meet her lips. Whatever it is you prefer in terms of embraces, just make sure to always try and be the man she can rely on to have fun with, to go through hardships with, to grow kids with, and to have a laugh with.
To Hug Or Not To Hug: Is A Silly Question
For best immersion into the complex soul of ladies, we asked our charming Slavic girls at NatalyDate.com how they like hugging.
- 98% of the 180 profiles, who filled out the survey, confirmed they enjoyed physical contact with men they fancy.
- 75% agreed they would allow a friendly hug on the first date.
- While only 43% confirmed they feel OK to exchange kisses on the lips on the first date.
- Massive 84% responded they experienced goosebumps at least once when a man approached from behind and kissed their neck slowly.
- 52% admitted they had little control over their body language and they would give away their infatuation or otherwise during the date.
- 29% confirmed they declined a hug at least once in their life.
- 81% admitted that physical contact, inclusive hugging, and cuddling plays a significant role in a long-lasting relationship.
As you can see “To Hug Or Not To Hug” is not even a question. At least not for the affectionate ladies from Slavic countries on NatalyDate.
Happy Hugging, ladies & gentlemen!