The main thing is not to overdo. You can run into this phrase here and there, no matter what theme you are talking about. Any relationship is like an individual living organism, which can have its own needs and can perceive the same information in different ways. So, a good thing for one person could be a bad thing for someone else. The same applies to such idea as “too much texting in a relationship.” Where is the line between texting someone too much and too little? As in any other sphere of life, everything is individual and depends on the relationship between two people. While it is enough for one couple to send two messages and meet three times a week to feel comfortable, the others cannot live without 20 calls a day and endless message exchange with emojis and selfies.
It is important for a guy to understand that if he is interested in a girl, then he will have to accept her increased demands for attention or try to find some kind of compromise. However, in any case, everything should be in moderation. Excessive meddling will make the girl run away from such a man, especially at the beginning of a relationship.
Why do people start texting in a new relationship instead of meeting in person?
Of course, everyone can have their own reasons why they prefer texting at the beginning of a relationship instead of calling or meeting. However, usually, there are two main reasons.
1. They need time to think about the answer. When you communicate offline, you have to “improvise,” give answers to questions instantly, concentrate on the dialogue and predict its further development. Conversation via text actually takes the load off the man because there is always time to think and give a calm answer to the girl.
2. They can present themselves from a better side. When it’s about impersonal communication, it is easier to present oneself from a better side. A man can work up the courage to say something that he would never say in person. The consequences of these words do not seem so serious, and a feeling of impunity and permissiveness may appear.
Too much texting in a relationship: why does it happen?
Many years ago, the dating process was defined by a number of face-to-face meetings. Strangers met, they spent time together, they tried to get to know each other better and evaluate the quality of their connection in person. Of course, they could talk on the phone or send an occasional letter, but the key component of their relationship was face-to-face meetings. Nowadays, modern technologies assume many functions and start playing a bigger role in relationship building and maintenance. Who can exactly say how much texting is too much to a girl and why does it happen? Let’s sort everything out.
1. Partners have different needs. Often, partners need a different amount of communication with each other: one wants to see each other every day, hear the voice of a loved one and read their endless messages, while another one has the need to spend some time with friends or alone. Loneliness may be used not just as a break from the partner. Sometimes, a person can need it to think about a loved one in their absence, to dream and to find inner peace. It’s especially true for introverts. However, another partner can feel the need for constant communication with a beloved one because, for example, they use their talks as a source of energy and good mood. Therefore, here is a banal dissonance in the perception of the required number of messages.
2. One of the partners doesn’t consider the needs of another one. Often, when a partner sends a big number of messages, they think about their own needs and don’t consider the needs of a partner, which may be quite different. It’s about unconscious violation of private space of a beloved person, an imposition of one own’s needs and banal misunderstanding. If, for example, a girl hasn’t set her boundaries, a man can allow himself to bother her with too much texting and vice versa.
3. It’s about a long-distance relationship. When people live in different countries or cities, but they have decided to maintain a close relationship, one of the partners can cross the line a bit in the attempts to create an effect of presence. On the one hand, constant communication via messengers helps create the illusion of closeness and that you are on the same page. On the other hand, texting too much in a long-distance relationship can provoke unnecessary irritation or even petty quarrels, which don’t contribute to the maintenance of a loving relationship.
Is texting every day too much?
If you ask yourself, “Am I texting too much?” let’s take a closer look at the situation. If it’s about a long-distance relationship, and there is no opportunity to meet face to face, then it is a great option to text your beloved one every day. The same applies to the situations when your partner is on a business trip or out of the city. However, if you can meet in person, then you should always give priority to this option over online dating and texting too much. An offline meeting is the best way to take your relationship to the next level. You can try to express your feelings through texting but taking into account the fact that the girl doesn’t see your facial expressions, and you cannot make an eye contact, this will not have such a great effect.
In addition, if you start texting her too much every day, discussing unnecessary things, over time, you will more likely become her friend rather than a lover. If you are not a guru of creating sexual tension via texting, and you cannot turn her on with a message, then the girl will get used to your friendly communication and will not think about you in a special way.
So, the answer to the question, “Is texting every day too much?” will be yes. If you send her messages all day long, she may think that you have nothing else to do in your life. Don’t look so desperate, showing that communication with her is the most important and interesting activity in your life. How much texting is too much? The number of messages may vary depending on the certain situation, but it’s about 10-15 messages every day, on average. In addition, if you ask a girl, “How much texting is too much to a guy?”, she will tell you about 3-5 messages a day.
Texting too much: clingy or not?
The more freedom you give a girl, the more time she will want to spend together. It makes sense. After all, when you start paying too much attention and send hundreds of meaningless messages, such behavior will bother the girl, and she will start reluctantly communicating with you. Everyone should understand that enough is as good as a feast, otherwise, you will look clingy. Therefore, try to keep a prudent balance. The girl should feel freer, being in a relationship with you.
Keep a distance, you should not be overwhelmed by emotions from the fact that you have a girlfriend and wrap her with your excessive positive energy. You can just scare off her.
If you don’t want to look clingy, you should make the girl feel a certain freedom in the relationship. Having free time, it is not always worth texting the girl and sending emoji. Any person needs some rest from a partner from time to time. A lot of quarrels arise from the fact that people do not have time for themselves. Any girl wants to be alone for a little while, talk to her women friends, take a walk with the dog, reflect on some things, and not devote you 100% of the time.
You need to be a little unpredictable, girls like guys who know how to surprise them pleasantly. Therefore, you should learn how to stop texting so much, make small gifts and give flowers. Thus, you will look more romantic and less clingy.
How to stop texting so much?
Nothing can kill attraction and spoil your chances of developing your relationship like too much texting. There is no mystery or anticipation, everything is dull and annoying. If you send at least 10 messages a day to your partner, and you feel that your relationship gets worse, then it’s high time to find out how to stop texting someone so much. There are several rules for texting a girl that will help you not overdo.
1. Watch the balance of significance. A girl should not feel that she is more important to you than you are to her. Otherwise, she will start thinking about whether you are good enough to be with her or it’s better to look for someone else. When you start texting too much to her, you shift the balance of significance.
2. Allow her to miss you. Don’t be afraid of pauses in communication because, in fact, you should praise them. If you communicate with her all the time, responding to her texting and sending long messages on your own initiative, she will get bored quite soon. The number of your messages should not exceed the number on her part. Keep the text ratio close to 1:1 and watch its length as well.
3. Keep the girl’s schedule in mind. There is nothing worse than waking up at dawn or late at night just because someone has decided to send you a message. You should learn to respect the habits and daily routine of other people and not disturb them at a time when they may be busy or relaxing.
4. Don’t send needless messages. You shouldn’t send her messages in the cases where her answer is not of great importance. For example, don’t reply to her “sweet dreams!” message if you are just going to send her “you too.” Your talk is already over, so don’t continue it further.
5. Start communicating with someone else. You can start arguing the following statement, but you are texting too much to the girl just because you don’t have any other options. Your behavior is also the result of the need for communication with the representative of the opposite sex. A man starts texting too much to the girl because he believes that this is a great option to keep her for a long time. You should get rid of such thoughts and at least, try to imagine that there are many other charming girls who are interested in your personality. This strategy will prevent you from sending the excessive number of messages.
6. Text her for a reason. Don’t text a girl when you feel bored, and you want her to cheer you up. Use messages to set up the dates and go over some details. Don’t text her if you know that your conversation will not lead to anything fruitful or if you want to kill some time. This is especially true if you are not going to stuck in a friend zone. The biggest “part of work” should be done on a date. Texting is good for developing platonic feelings and becoming real friends.
7. Find new hobbies. You are texting too much because you have a lot of free time. If you want to stop bothering the girl with your messages, try to find some new hobbies, which will take a large part of your time. The busier you are, the less time you have for awkward things. Besides, you will be able to find new topics for conversation, making your talks more interesting. This is a universal option, which you shouldn’t ignore.