Finding love again after a divorce can be fun or dull, effortless or agonizing, self-affirming or somewhat depressing. Brush up the theory with us before diving into practice to minimize your risks and turn this process into a joyride with guaranteed ROI.
Why divorce is a window of opportunity
By definition divorce means freedom and it also means solitude. It means a new start, but it also symbolizes the end of decades-long hopes. Divorce is a trial, but it’s also an opportunity.
For the purpose of this article, we treat divorce as a fact. We assume that every effort had been made to keep the marriage intact, but it failed. So you have to make a new start, with possible weekend father duties, alimonies and lawyer charges to pay off. For the purpose of the successful next phase of your life, you should treat a divorce as an opportunity. Just because it is:
- An opportunity to create a new meaningful relationship to last.
- A chance to have fun and be reckless.
- An opportunity to become a better version of self.
- A chance to become a better dad and friend to your ex-family.
- An opportunity to get a new canvas to paint your life on.
Divorce is not a verdict. It’s a new beginning.
When is it OK to start looking for a new wife?
It depends on 2 factors:
- How much of a family-person you are.
- How much of a trauma the divorce is for you.
Nota Bene: The 2 factors only kick in, if we assume, that the divorce is a done deal and you are not hoping to win your family back in a triumphant reunion. OK. So let’s quickly check out both for the factors to be in a position to ascertain the spectrum of the mission ahead for your case.
1. If you are one of those guys, who hates sleeping alone (and we mean sleeping, not having sex here); If you are one of those, who are programmed to take care of the family and needs a lady in your life to inspire you day in day out.
If you are one of those men, who like the smell of pancakes in the morning and cooking family-recipe BBQ on weekends; Then you are a family person. Chances are, you come from a full family, where parents were one whole unit and you just cannot imagine being alone. It frustrates you. You feel incomplete.
In this case, finding true love after divorce may be the only thing that matters to you. The relationship is like a spice to your life, which, if missing, makes everything taste just bland and unexciting. Being aware of this particularity is a good start. The guys who cannot see themselves out of a solid relationship may take things too quickly.
2. If you divorce turned real ugly, you were hurt and left emotionally drained, jumping into another marriage right away is the biggest mistake ever.
On the other end of the sentimental spectrum, your divorce may have been just a natural progression of things in a childless marriage, where you have been growing apart from each other for years, each having your own side affairs and suspecting each other of adultery.
With these 2 factors taken into account in each case, the answer is clearer when it is possible to build healthy relationships after divorce. As a rule of thumb, a bare minimum of a year is an optimal time frame to start considering another marriage.
How to meet women after divorce
It’s the 21st century, dude. You can go old school and storm the libraries to practice your pick up skills or try to strike a conversation when queuing for your morning flat white next to a wagon in your hood. But you must have heard of Tinder, right?
Dating sites are full of people who are actively looking for a relationship, just like you. Take advantage of the blissful everything-is-one-click-away era you live in, use technology.
Tips for Dating After Divorce that worked for me
Having been there done that, below are my personal experiences, which brought me to a happy second marriage where I feel myself again. Hopefully, they help you find your way.
Don’t start looking for a new wife unless you heal first
Go eat yourself stupid now. Eat as much as you need to feel like unzipping your jeans to breathe. Ready? Gasping for air yet?
Now grab a juicy burger and enjoy it. Mission impossible, is it? You get the point. Having a break is a must. It is not an option on the extensive menu of alternatives. It is a necessity. An essential step to the next happy marriage. Deny, grieve, accept – go through all the steps, don't miss a thing to be able to enjoy your new relationship with a clear mind. Make some space in your tummy for that juicy burger first. Work up some appetite and heal the wounds first.
Integrate lessons learned into your decision making
We recommend being honest with yourself. Acknowledge the ways you screwed up. If you need a shrink for some self-digging, go do that. Alternatively, an evening with an open mind map tool and a glass of whiskey on your own can do the trick too. Have a map of events that took your past marriage astray. When did it go wrong? Were expectations too high? Did it boil down to your character incompatibility? How did each of you contribute to the split?
The next thing after you acknowledge how things went wrong, come up with what you need to fix in your habits and ways to succeed next and what traits of character are an absolute no-go for your next spouse.
How to Find a New Wife after Divorce: Grow your Network
When you start thinking about your first relationship after divorce, it is a sign you are ready to grow your network.
Expand your circle of acquaintances
Digitally or in person, by taking up new hobbies or traveling to new countries, in an unhurried manner or on a tight schedule of 1 date a day. Whatever the form, you need to expose yourself to new people. By getting to know new people you achieve multiple goals to help you succeed in dating again after divorce:
- You don’t have the time to think about past marriage.
- You improve your social skills – being out of the habit of dating makes you rusty, so brushing those skills is essential for new successes.
- You understand better what you are looking for in a woman and partner.
- You understand even better what it is you cannot have in your woman and future wife.
Compatibility as the Focal Focus of your Attention
Finding somebody to resonate with your lifestyle, values, and interests is a vital step to successful post-divorce relationships. Understand that the compatibility of characters is what keeps relationships afloat.
Be honest with yourself as to your flaws, bad habits, lousy traits of character. Know your pluses and your minuses. Writing them down is a simple but awakening exercise. Be aware of the traits that are unacceptable for you in a lady. If you know your wife absolutely needs to love cooking, don’t waste your time on ladies, who cannot fry an omelet. That simple. Find out what is essential for you and find out how to ask your date about those things on a first night without sounding like a creep.
Age, upbringing, values, political preferences, religion, weight and hair color – they all matter in the selection process if they are crucial to you. Understand what compatibility is and choose the character to fit yours.
No more Tracking of Your Past
Just stop it. ‘nuf said. We all make mistakes. You are only human, after all. Stop the “what if” thought process in your head. Stop comparing your new dates with your ex-wife. Stop projecting your past wounds onto new relationships. Just stop it.
Stay Frantically Optimistic About Love
Knowing that you will succeed at a mission increases your chances of succeeding at a mission multifold. When you believe in yourself, there is no power to sway you aside. One failed attempt does not mean that all attempts are going to be this way. One marriage that didn't work out does not define you. Not all women are the same. Love is real.
Having faith in love as a phenomenon and having faith in your good fate is the only way to start this exciting journey of starting a new relationship after divorce.
Enjoy things that bring you happiness
It’s a good time to be a bit selfish. You are just out of a relationship that didn’t work out. You have been trying hard, but it’s life – $%#$ happens. Marriages fall apart and people disappoint. You have been devoting yourself for yours to your family, wife, children. Waking up early and working your bum off to keep them happy and nourished. You deserve a new start. You deserve to have it your way.
Spoil yourself with things you like. Travel to a country you have never been to. Buy expensive stuff you have always wanted to get. Take upon a hobby you had been drooling over for years but never had the time for. You deserve to be happy. Open up for happiness.
Search for New Love via New Hobbies
Outside of the digital dating app domain, exploring hobbies may be the best way to find your soul mate. Then you are watering 2 plants with one hose:
- You are doing what you love anyway – engaging with your hobby.
- You are getting a chance to find a partner for life who will be excited about the same things you are excited about.
Consider solo travel
If you have never done this, then it’s non-negotiable, you have to try it. When is the best time to do it but in-between marriages? Traveling solo is an adventure of your lifetime. Hooking up with local communities is a breeze. Every capital in the world had expat communities on Facebook. Just post a friendly comment with an invite for a drink and you will have local expats showing your top places.
Be aware of the dating dynamics
It’s all good to go wild right after the divorce and get 3-5 dates a week. Many people do just that and this is my recommendation too. Deep-dive into the dating sites and hit the road, man. But if you find yourself still in this wild jungle after half a year without as much as a month-long relationship under your belt in this period, this is a red flag and there may be a leak you need to fix before taking this boat onto a new journey.
Try Online Dating with Natalydate
If you are wondering how to meet women after divorce, you may consider dating sites outside of the mainstream apps.
Online dating is an adventure that takes you across seas and oceans and may bring just the results you are expecting – with little effort, some investment, and lots of fun tweaks and turns along the way. Natalydate.com is a reliable online dating platform that has helped many single and divorced men find exactly what they are looking for.
With an extensive portfolio of ladies from all over Ukraine, the library of beautiful candidates for your next big relationship is impressive. Your data is secure and your choices are enticing.
Best places to meet a new wife
Looking for a life partner after a divorce doesn’t have to be daunting. It has to be exciting, fun, thrilling. It is an adventure. Where can you meet women after divorce?
In your city: consider the leisurely spots, like bars and beaches and parks, where people are open to meeting and interacting with new people.
Online: Tinder, Match.com, or Natalydate.com will all have plenty of options for you to consider.
On vacation or while traveling: people (both men and women) actually come on vacation for sex tourism or to in the hope to find a boyfriend or a girlfriend. It's like fishing in the fish-rich spot, you know.
How to find a new wife after divorce on Natalydate
Natalydate has an extensive portfolio of stunning ladies from Ukraine looking to find their destiny and a caring husband. All ladies are checked for the earnestness of their intentions and undergo thorough background checks. We work with ladies to make sure they are prepared to expect the difference in cultures. Slavic ladies are legendary for carrying all the femininity and being great at keeping up the family nest in great order and creating comfort for their partner. While many of the Slavic girls share the traits of character across nations, Ukrainian girls have some character and spice to them too.
Start your online dating hunt to a new wife after the divorce with Natalydate in just a click. See it for yourself: Are ladies from Ukraine as good offline as the reputation of Ukrainian Girls online has it?