11 Things You Didn't Know About Sexual Attraction

Why are we drawn like a magnet to some people? We notice them in the crowd and want to know better. To interesting people, we are attracted on a platonic level, and this attraction usually results in a friendship. We are attracted to beautiful people who are pleasant just to look at. To the opposite sex, we are usually attracted sexually or romantically. How does it work? It’s time to gain insight into this ever timely subject.

The Nature of Sexual Attraction: Biology and Psychology

Let’s start with the very definition. What is sexual attraction? It is the desire to be intimate with a specific person. In simple terms, it’s when you walk on the street, see someone, and you immediately feel unexplainable and uncontrollable wish to have sex with that person. Some people call it love. Some say it is lust. Anyway, there is always sexual attraction behind any romantic relationship between a man and a woman, either intense or covert. In order to call it love, there should be several types of attraction – romantic, erotic, and intellectual.

Why are we attracted to some kind of people and indifferent to another? Is it that notorious chemistry? In order to gain insight into the mechanisms of attraction, we need to resort both to biology and psychology.

You might have heard that everyone has their own scent. It has nothing to do with perfumes. We smell it on a different level, just like animals. If two people have matching natural smells, they will feel a mutual attraction. This is one of the explanations of how the process of falling in love goes. In fact, that scent is actually the pheromones contained in sweat and body fluids. Some pheromones allegedly cause sexual attraction. This is another piece of evidence that our subconsciousness has a great influence on our behavior and actions.

The intensity of female sex appeal increases during the ovulation phase of a menstrual cycle. Men find the ovulating women more attractive, because they can “smell” the pheromones produced by women’s bodies in this period. The phase of ovulation is the most fertile point in a woman’s menstrual cycle. In the course of one experiment, men were asked to smell the T-shirts of ovulating women and women in their infertile phases. Most men confirmed that clothes of ovulating women smelled more pleasant to them. Also, in her fertility phase, a woman appears more attractive and her voice sounds more seductive.

Women are attracted to manly men. They view broad shoulders, athletic physique, and masculine facial features as the signs of a healthy male and procreator. Here, their ancient instincts evoke instant attraction to this kind of man. According to the experts in the field of sexual attraction psychology, appearance and pheromones are not the only things that make us want a particular person. Personal qualities are alluring too. In one study, the male participants were shown pictures of women with neutral facial expressions and asked to assess them. Then, the researchers added descriptions to some photos and showed them to the participants. Men found women with positive qualities (indicated in the descriptions) more attractive, while women with negative qualities, such as dishonesty and greediness, received fewer points. It means that a kind woman automatically appears more attractive in men’s eyes.

Although the science of sexual attraction can explain many things, yet there is nothing universal about it. Everything is strictly individual. Each of us has our own understanding of attractiveness, beauty, and sex appeal. You may fall for a woman with big breasts while your friend gets excited when he sees a woman in a uniform.

Want more facts about sexual attraction? Here are 11 documented findings that will shed more light on this topic.

1. What people do we find attractive? Everyone to their own taste, you may say and you’ll be right. However, some studies reveal that we are attracted to those people of the opposite sex who look like us.
2. We are often attracted to people who have certain features of our parents’ appearance. Also, if your parents were quite mature when you were born, you’ll be attracted to older partners.
3. It’s known that a physical activity can get you into the aroused state. If you, being in this state, meet somebody, chances are high you’ll fall for that person. Your brain may confuse your intensive heartbeat caused by exercise with that one you get when you get aroused by an attractive person.
4. It’s true that alcohol influences our perception of others. When we’re drunk, we see other people more attractive. There is even a special term for this phenomenon – “beer goggles”.
5. If a woman plays hard to get, she looks more attractive and desired. However, it works only if a man views her as a partner for a serious relationship. If he’s into something casual, it will only repel him.
6. Trite pick-up lines usually kill the attraction. People are more likely to react to simple “hi” or “would you like to dance?”
7. To get sexually attracted to a person, we need more than just attractive appearance. Other senses help us make up a whole impression of a person. It’s important how that person smells, how their skin feels, etc.
8. Women’s preferences in men change with the phases of their menstrual cycle. During their ovulation phase (the most fertile one), they are more attracted to strong manly men.
9. Women dressed in red look more attractive to men. There is an assumption that men associate this color with women’s arousal. One of the signs that a woman is excited during sex is a temporary rash on her chest. So, women can use this fact to their advantage wearing red to attract men.
10. Surprisingly enough, men find women more attractive in winter than in summer. It turns out that our preferences change from season to season. How come winter intensifies attraction? Probably, all those layers create a kind of mystery around women’s bodies, so men want to know what is hidden under the coats.
11. There is such a term as genetic sexual attraction. It usually emerges between blood relatives when they reunite after a long period of separation. For example, when the mother who gave up her child for adoption at birth meets her adult son, they may get sexually attracted to each other. The same goes for half-brothers and half-sisters.

Romantic Attraction Vs. Sexual Attraction: Is There a Difference Actually?

Attraction can be not necessarily sexual. There are other types of attraction. A platonic attraction is typical of friendship when two people are attracted to each other because they share common interests and have a good time together. An aesthetic attraction is the one you experience toward a person or thing. You can’t stop looking at this person or thing because you find them very beautiful. They evoke in you a desire to paint them or write a poem/book about them.

Very often people try to distinguish between romantic and sexual attraction. These are another two types of attraction. Sexual attraction is characterized by the desire to have sex with the object of your attraction. Kissing, hugging, sending erotic photos belong to the ways of expressing this kind of attraction. The attraction to a person with the aim to be romantic with that person is called romantic attraction. Romantic dates, non-perverted fantasies, kissing and touching are typical manifestations of it. Contrasting romantic attraction vs sexual attraction, you may have noticed that kisses and hugs are present in both. However, romantic attraction may not have any sexual implications behind kisses.

Unlike sexual attraction, where cuddling and kissing are the first steps towards achieving a “full-size” intimacy. A person can be only romantically attracted or only sexually attracted, or both. Romantic attraction is often similar to a platonic one if there is no physical attraction.

Romantic vs. sexual attraction? Which one is an essential element of a true love? A perfect combo includes all types of attraction. A healthy long-term relationship is possible if partners find each other physically attractive and are attracted on the emotional level. If there is no sexual desire, it’s rather a friendship than a loving relationship.

Signs of Sexual Attraction in Women

Women tend to be very reserved when it comes to expressing their sexual desire. Few of them will tell they are sexually attracted to you. But their bodies always give them away. If a woman wants to show that she likes you, she’ll start flirting with you, often on a subconscious level. Keep your eye on her behavior and body language signs to figure out whether she is attracted to you too.

She cuts the distance. Since a woman is too proud to say about her feelings directly, she’ll send signs of sexual attraction. One of them is getting closer to you. When you stand, she’ll come nearer, when you sit at the table, she’ll sit closer, when you walk, she’ll walk so closely that your elbows will touch. She’ll find every excuse to touch you: whether it will be adjusting your collar or sweeping the invisible particle of dust. Watch the frequency of her touches and pay attention to her body language to make sure she is really into you.

Your eyes often meet. An eye contact is another way women show their interest in men. She will be looking at you, but once you catch her gaze, she’ll look away. If you are attracted to her, start looking at her until your eyes meet. If she doesn’t look away this time, she’s more than interested in you.

She strikes up a conversation. Usually, women wait until a man walks up to them and starts a conversation. However, if she is overwhelmed with attraction, she’ll make the first move. She’ll compliment you on your style or some trait of character. She’ll start flirting with you, and flirting is a surefire sexual attraction sign.

She laughs at your jokes. She laughs even if your jokes are not that funny. There is a belief that women are attracted to funny guys. In fact, if a woman is attracted to a particular man, she automatically considers him and his jokes funny.

She smiles when you encounter. You may not say anything, but she smiles at you whenever you pass by. This one of the non-verbal female sexual attraction signs. Her smiling face means that she is romantically interested in you.

She asks more insightful questions. Asking personal questions is one of the intense sexual attraction signs. However, it rather indicates her platonic or romantic attraction, which is fundamental for women.

If you notice these sexual attraction signs in a woman, you can be relieved – she is interested in you. However, don’t take her accidental touch or compliment for a sign of strong attraction. Always pay attention to the context.